I don’t know about you, but there are times when I feel like I’m not doing a good job, or when I think I should have done more.
These moments don’t happen all the time – thankfully – though they do happen from time to time. In those moments, I feel like I’m worthless or I’m doing a pitiful job.
This is perfectly normal because we all have our ups and downs. However, these moments should not change how we perceive ourselves.
If you begin to perceive yourself negatively due to problems that you experience, it could be because you lack self-love.
Developing self-love is like building a house without a solid foundation. Everything you build will be unstable and risk collapsing with the slightest gust of wind.
Why self-love is important
Self-love means feeling deep inside that you deserve happiness, health, wealth, success, and love, no matter what difficulties or disappointments you are currently going through.
If you love yourself, you accept who you are, with your flaws, weaknesses and limitations.
This is why these steps will be useful for you to strengthen your self-love and regain your power.
Be kind to yourself
Try to be as gentle as possible with your thoughts and words.
You can do this by talking to yourself positively and pleasantly.
You can say things like :
- I feel appreciated and special when…
- I love myself completely and fully despite…
- I am a worthy and capable person when…
By talking to yourself in a healthy and positive way, you can refocus on your strengths and discover the treasures that you possess.
This will help free yourself from seeking the approval of others.
And this is one of the biggest steps you have to take to grow your self-love.
Focus on what makes you happy
Only focusing on the negative can lead to a vicious cycle of engaging in negative habits, such as smoking, drinking, eating unhealthy food, or watching TV to drown your sorrows.
To break this vicious circle, focus on things that make you happy, even for a few minutes.
For example, you can light an Aluminate Life sodalite-infused calm candle to help calm your mind. This will help you deal with any challenges that you might have with a sense of clarity.
Celebrate your achievements
As soon as you accomplish something, celebrate it.
Whether it’s having a constructive conversation with a loved one or a task well done at work, it’s a reason to celebrate.
You are not being narcissistic when you recognize your achievements!
Recognizing your achievements will boost your self-confidence and ultimately increase self-love.
Come to terms with your flaws
Perfection does not exist: each person wishes they could change some things about themselves.
Accepting your flaws and limitations is the first step towards self-love.
Each weakness can become a strength, from the moment we are aware of it and accept it.
Identifying your limits means being able to analyze them with kindness and gradually trying to transform them.
For example, if you are uncomfortable speaking in public, take diction and eloquence lessons.
If you’re afraid to travel, hitchhike with a friend. I know this is easier said than done. But remember that projecting fear is always worse than acting it out!
Take care of your body
Self-love is whole: it concerns your mind, your heart, and your body at the same time. Take care of them.
To begin with, eat well. We now know that what we put in our belly will affect our physical health… and our mental health!
So, always try to eat a balanced diet.
Eating well also enhances your joy of living.
Taking the time to sleep, walk, meditate or do yoga are activities that will help boost your physical and mental health.
Dwelling on the past does not allow us to move forward.
For example, if you think that you made a wrong choice, you need to realize that making choices is a constant in our existence, and each of them has a purpose.
If you made a certain decision, it is because it was good for you at that moment in your life.
You cannot go back to the past, but you can make a different decision in the future.
Everything can change, at any age and in any situation. And if things are not moving as quickly as you would like now, embrace it. It will not always be so.
Listen to yourself
To be at peace with yourself, you have to remain attentive to your needs and understand what makes you happy.
It’s about getting to know yourself and listening to your instincts.
Ask yourself questions like, “What do I like doing? or “How can I adapt my life situation to current needs?”
If it helps, feel free to write a list of your wants, your needs, and what you don’t want.
Being aligned with your desires is the basis of self-love.
See the beauty in everything
The brain is like a muscle, we can exercise and develop it. And like all gymnastics, that of the brain is perfected by repetition!
So try to see the beauty in everything. If it helps, get a notebook and jot down three nice things that happened to you each day.
In the end, it’s personal
You are not in competition with others, you are alone in this adventure which is your life.
You can only compare yourself to yourself, and the important thing is to give the best of yourself.
Don’t set the bar too high either, it’s okay to make mistakes, even if you feel like you’re the only one making them.
The important thing is to evaluate what you have done and improve so that you increase your chances of success the next time.